first meetings
This is my first post here so I thought it would appropriate to talk about meetings, first meetings in particular. I've thought about them a lot recently, specially since Covid, a part of me feels as if I'm a new person after those short years.
Majority of my life, by majority I mean till Covid hit, I had always been an extroverted and social person. I would go to classes, do multiple shifts at work and still had energy to plan things with friends during which they would bring their friends. This led me to have multiple friend groups and groups within those groups. I did feel exhausted at times but I really never did mind, I enjoyed the company of people, meeting multiple people and finding out what makes them them.
During Covid my country went into a very strict lockdown, and regardless of lockdown or not, I had seen so many close friends suffer from this pandemic that I refused to put myself in danger. This led to me hanging out with people rarely, once restrictions had eased up it didn't really change, I had also lost some friends during this time which is a discussion for another time. All these factors have led me to become more introverted, I prefer being indoors most of the time, spending time with my significant other, with my own thoughts and in the comfort I have created for myself. There is nothing wrong with being introverted of course, but I feel as if I don't know how to meet people anymore. If I do meet people I feel like I don't really know how to introduce myself, how to have a proper first meeting.
I used to be a mentor in university, they taught us that when you meet freshmen for the first time try to remind them that you know their name. Strange tip for some maybe but I always thought it helped people feel more comfortable. Now even though I still remember names well I can't seem to push myself to talk with new people more, and it's not for the lack of wanting to make new friends. I am extremely comfortable with the people in my life now, however I'm always open to meetings others. But why has it gotten so hard... These days I also feel overwhelmed easily; too many people, too many simultaneous conversations, etc will make me feel uneasy. I can truly only give my full attention to maybe one or two people now, and some people take offense to this which also scares me when it comes to befriending people.
I would love to feel comfortable meeting people again, not have anxiety over first meetings. Hoping that somewhere down the road I can rediscover a part of my old self, parts that help me deal with these sort of situations better. Sometimes I wonder if other people have gone through the same thing, from being able to easily meet new people to suddenly feeling like they have clamped up. If so I hope they can read this and find some comfort at the least and if they've overcome this social block; how did they do it?